Carried By His Wings© -- Sexual Purity Recovery

Wings Devotional Recovery ... January 7, 2010

Just For Today! – Step One – A Vow for the New Year

STEP ONE -- Is about recognizing our brokenness.

We admitted we were powerless over the effects of our separation from GOD - that our lives had become unmanageable.

I know nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature.  For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.  --Romans 7:18

Making plans for your life in the new year?  Could it be that God already has a plan for you and is patiently waiting for you to make that plan a reality?

When one considers how everything seems to have a purpose in nature (atoms, genes, plants, animals, etc.), it makes sense to believe that each of us has a purpose as well.  On the other hand, if all of creation seems to have just happened without any reason, then this means our minds and spirits must have no reason or purpose as well.  How can we trust them?

But believers trust that there is a great Intelligence that brought everything into existence.

There is a Mind and a Heart at the center of all creation.  If that’s the case, then life can only make sense when we seek what the Creator has in mind for us.

Jesus, who knew the Mind and Heart of God better than anyone who ever lived on Earth, once said to the erring Peter: “You are setting your mind not on divine things but on human things” -- Mark 8:33, NRSV.

Setting our minds on human things can get us into trouble.  That’s why it often seems we live in a crazy mixed-up world.  How can life ever be fulfilling, without the purpose God has for that life?

To set one’s mind on divine things leads us to consider the one vow we should take seriously for the new year.

Your will, Lord. Your will and nothing else.

"It is my eager expectation and hope that I will not be put to shame in any way, but that by my speaking with all boldness, Christ will be exalted now as always in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me, living is Christ and dying is gain. -- Philippians 1:20-21

First Step Prayer

Dear Lord,

I admit that I am powerless over my dependencies

I admit that my life is unmanageable when I try to control it

Help me this day to understand the true meaning of powerlessness

Remove from me all denial of my dependencies

What we have long thought to be extremely complex turns out to be Sesame-Street-Simple, and what first appears to be offensively simple contains complexities that we never imagined.  There is no better example of this paradox than Alcoholics Anonymous' First Step of Recovery: We admitted we were powerless over the effects of our separation from GOD - that our lives had become unmanageable.

This is a life changing step.  Life changing that is, if we don't take it lightly, and if we can avoid being fooled by the disease of addiction, that cunning, baffling and powerful culprit who would much rather us skim lightly over good old step one.

Just For Today! – Step One – The Five Stages to the First Step

Stage 1: Initial Denial  --  "I don't have a problem!"  "The problem is not
the booze (or the drugs)!", and "If you don't like it, it's your problem!" are all possible battle cries for me at this stage.  I am well defended with
excuses and explanations of blame.  If there is outside pressure to do something about my chemical use, I still easily view myself as a victim or circumstance.  Recognition that I am experiencing a loss of control does rear its ugly head occasionally, but I am able to keep such ridiculous thoughts in their place.  I am angry and scared at this stage, but usually denying the fear and minimizing the anger.  "I have got it under control," I chant as important parts of my world crumble around me.

Stage 2: Admission  --  This is the stage of putting two and two together, matching my experience with information gathered.  I have either sought some material about addiction on my own, or it has been presented to me by people who care.  I have weathered the first waves of anger and fear and can now intellectually "admit" that I have a problem -- that I am powerless over my addiction, and that as a result I am losing control of my life.

Anger may now be turned more inward, toward myself, in the form of guilt, disappointment or shame.  Fear is still present, although I may for a time continue to deny or minimize it.  I would like to think (and may fool myself into thinking) that my intellectual admission of chemical dependency is enough to turn things around.  "Now that I see the problem I will call upon my willpower to make everything right again."

Caution: This is a very tricky stage.  Many chemically dependent people have privately (secretly) visited this stage previously when faced with blatant, undeniable consequences to their chemical use.  If I have ever attempted to change or control my drinking/using patterns, I have been dipping my toe into this stage, testing the waters of admission.

It is not unusual for chemically dependent individuals to spend years moving back and forth between initial denial and admission.  The challenge here is to commit myself to reaching out for help, and not letting my guard down prematurely.  The first step tells us that we are "powerless" over our addiction, not just a little low on power.  There is a big difference between being a little off balance and falling on my behind.

Stage 3: Second Thoughts  --  Even when I do continue in my recovery efforts I will sooner or later encounter this stage of "second thoughts. " It is natural and an essential ingredient in motivating me to the next stage of "acceptance."  Second thoughts are not a sign that recovery is not working.  This is the time when Denial, who was knocked down in the admission stage, stands back up.  "Wait a minute .  .  .  maybe I have over reacted here   I have been very responsible in owning up to my problems and getting my life (relationships, etc.) back together .  .  .  I understand the dangers of over doing it .  .  .  why couldn't I have a beer on a hot afternoon, or a glass of wine with a good meal .  .  .  like normal people?!"

At this stage it is important that I hear these thoughts out, but not follow their lead.  Most importantly, I need to do tell someone involved with my recovery about this re-emergence of denial.  I need to "tell on myself" -- not so that I can be punished or shamed -- but so that I can reduce the danger of slipping back into old behavior.

Digging a little deeper during this stage I discover my anger at the disease of addiction.  I probably need to scream in a rage:

"WHY ME?  !  THIS ISN'T FAIR!"

Stage 4: Acceptance  --  Acceptance and admission are not the same.
Admission is an intellectual function.  Acceptance is a sense of knowing the truth at a gut level: "Chemical dependency is a disease that I have.  It is here.  It is real.  And it is my responsibility to face it."

I cannot fully reach acceptance unless I have been willing to walk through the painful feelings (anger, guilt, shame, fear, etc.) associated with recognizing that I am addicted and that my life is out of control.  At the stage of "acceptance" I find myself experiencing (possibly for the first time) a sense of being centered, a feeling of being at home or at ease.  My eyes wide open, blinders off, I no longer feel threatened or compromised by the fact that I am chemically dependent.  Being chemically dependent is far from all that I am, but it is a part of who I am.  I have the disease of addiction and for that I am not to be blamed.  I am, however, one hundred per cent (100%) responsible for my recovery.  Not only do I accept this disease as mine, but I also accept the truth that it is not a disease from which I will recover alone.  I will continue to build and use my recovery supports .  .  .  always.

"Acceptance" is not perfect recovery; thank God, there is no such thing.
Acceptance is the opposite of denial.  In "acceptance" I lower my resistance to everything that I think and feel -- everything that I am.  I live with a forgiving attitude toward myself, and eventually toward others.  I begin to feel relief.

Stage 5: Daily Willingness  -- This stage is the natural outgrowth of the
previous stage of acceptance.  In a way they are one, but it is important to emphasize this as a separate stage so that I can affirm the necessity of taking the first step on a daily basis.  "Daily willingness" demonstrates my respect for the reality of all that I have learned about the disease of
addiction, and about me.

Willingness is recovery's answer to the dreaded and dangerous "willpower."  (The John Wayne Syndrome)  Willpower closes me down and isolates me in my "control addiction."  Willingness opens me to receive the support that I need and deserve.  

In "daily willingness" I learn to apply the Serenity Prayer to my life.
(God, grant me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference.) In doing so, and in accepting my powerlessness over my addiction, I begin the process of reclaiming my personal power in my life.  I will maintain this wonderful power only to the degree that I remain focused in the present tense, in my "daily willingness" to do whatever it takes to support my recovery.

Afterthoughts I suggest that you take a few minutes and write about yourself at the stage with which you most strongly identify.  A few cautions:

"Admission" likes to pretend to be "acceptance," and "second thoughts" present as the "voice of reason."  And anyone early in recovery believing themselves to be at one of the final two stages is probably fooling themselves.  Be careful.  Be thorough.  And know this: It takes time to walk through all of these stages.  And it is hard work.  Step carefully, and be patient with yourself.

Additional Scriptures to help me understand what the Word of God say about admitting the unmanageability of our lives, 

·        ·Matthew 9:36

·        ·Romans 7:18-20

·        ·Psalm 6:2-4

·        ·Psalm 31:9-10

·        ·Psalm 38:3-9

·        ·Psalm 44:15, 16

·        ·Psalm 72:12, 13

Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight.

Do not be wise in your own eyes;
fear the LORD and shun evil.

This will bring health to your body
and nourishment to your bones. -- Proverbs 3:5-8

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* As you make your requests known to the Lord, include:

·        greater personal discipline,

·        worldwide persecuted Christians,

·        Hedge of protection to our children

·        Blessings to our spouses

·        Godly men in Government

·        Rest and Peace to our pastors

·        Your activities for the day.

Love One Another

Stand Together

Fight this war, no matter the cost

Pray for our children

Turn our hearts toward heaven

Seek to be one nation under God.

God Bless and Guide You in your Christian Walk Today

“The Lord bless you and keep you,
the Lord make his face shine upon you
and be gracious to you;
the Lord turn his face toward you
and give you peace.”
-- Numbers 6:24-27

You can help when no one else can."
  -- c. 2001, Alcoholics Anonymous, page 89
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