Carried By His Wings© -- Sexual Purity Recovery

Wings Devotional Recovery ... April 1st, 2010

The Month of April brings us to Step Four ...

Involves Honest Self-Examination.

There is a saying in the Recovery program that recovery is a process, not an event. The same can be said for this step -- more will surely be revealed.

MY MORAL INVENTORY - SEARCH WITHIN

My Moral Inventory – Search Within

Rigorous Honesty

STEP FOUR: Involves Self-Examination.

STEP FOUR: I Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of myself.

"Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the Lord". -- Lamentations 3:40

Just for Today! -- Step Four – Search Within

WORKING STEP FOUR

A personal inventory is crucial to understand the new direction of my spiritual growth.  What aspects of character do I need to retain and emphasize, and what should be modified or discarded?  I first memorized:

"Come, let's talk this over!" says the Lord; "no matter how deep the stain of your sins, I can take it out and make you as clean as freshly fallen snow.  Even if you are stained as red as crimson, I can make you white as wool!" – Isaiah 1:18

I prepare for Step Four by recognizing the fact that, to some degree, denial has been operating in my life.  I ask GOD for the courage to face those areas that have been protected by denial.  I have been an expert at self-deception and rationalization.  By writing my inventory, I can overcome these obstacles.  A written inventory will unlock parts or my subconscious that remain hidden when I simply think about or talk about who I am.  Once it is all down on paper, it is much easier to see and much harder to deny my true nature.  Honest self-assessment is one of the keys to my new way to life.

"Searching".  The purpose of a searching and fearless moral inventory is to sort through the confusion and the contradiction of my life so that I can find out who I really am.  I am starting a new way of life and need to be rid of the burdens and traps that controlled me and prevented my growth.  I am becoming honest with myself when I admit that my addictions had defeated me and that I need help.  It took a long time to admit that I was beaten.  The word searching implies that I am looking for something that has been hidden and that I will need to be thorough in my efforts.  When I start working Step Four I quickly realize how instinctive it is for me to be evasive, to blame, to get distracted.  I have not taken inventory of myself in a long time - maybe never.  I have hidden the truth from myself and it will now take a disciplined effort to pay attention.

I start with clipboard in hand, and we walk down the aisles of my life and note areas of weakness and strength.  When I come to relationships, I take stock of the resentments and grudges, but I also examine my loving and healthy relationships.  When I come to my communication, I note the lies, but I also list the positive ways I share with others.  In this process I can look to GOD for guidance.  He knows the contents of my warehouse far better than I do.  God's Word tells me,

"Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." -- Psalm 139:23-24

"Fearless".  Calling this self evaluation 'fearless' might be confusing.  It doesn't mean I will not be afraid.  That's a bit too much to expect.  I will experience fear.  To call an inventory fearless means that I will be courageous in the face of my fears.  When the fear comes -- and it will come -- I will keep on.  An appraisal of my past behavior gives me an opportunity to confess sins I may not be aware of.  This releases me from the bondage of destructive guilt, reconciles me to GOD, and frees me for future service to Him.

"He who conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will find compassion". -- Proverbs 28:13

I Stop and pray, thanking GOD that His love overcomes my fear. I Ask Him to give me the power to be honest, open, and willing to work Step Four.

"There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear." -- I John 4:18

"Moral Inventory".  Inventory taking is not a new idea.  The early church knew the importance of this spiritual discipline and connected it directly to its public worship.  As Paul said,

"A man ought to examine himself before he eats of the bread and drinks of the cup" -- I Corinthians 11:28.

Unfortunately, this spiritual discipline has been abused at various times in the history of the Christian church.

It has been used against people rather then help them.

It has been used to create shame rather than freedom.

But most commonly the biblical mandate for inventory taking has simply been ignored.  And we have suffered spiritually as a result.

A moral inventory is not just a listing of bad actions for which we are responsible.

It might help to think of Step Four as essentially a restatement of:

"Let us examine our ways and test them and let us return to the Lord"-- Lamentations 3:4

This puts it well: we are to examine our ways, the character of our lives.  In the Christian Twelve Step tradition people are given a structure, a process and a community that helps them in this self examination.

In Christian Twelve Step programs people are often encouraged to begin a moral inventory by focusing on resentments.  While this might seem at first like a focus on how other people have hurt me, in reality it is part of the process of taking responsibility for my own actions.

The resentments which I inventory are my resentments.  They are how I have chosen to respond to painful situations.  As I begin to take full responsibility for the way I have responded to life, I gradually learn to let go of things for which I am not responsible and to hold myself accountable for my own actions and responses.

Resentments are an important focus because they are one of the most common causes of relapse in recovery.  There is an old slogan in AA that says this well:

"Having a resentment is like drinking poison and expecting someone else to die."  A second focus that is frequently encouraged in Christian Twelve Step programs is a focus on fears.  The reason for doing a moral inventory of my fears is that, next to resentments, fears is one of the things that most commonly lead me to relapse.

Making an inventory of my fears forces me to look closely at how I manage those fears.  As I look at what makes me afraid I will be given many opportunities to find out how thoroughly I have worked Step Three.  Gradually I will learn that God can be helpful to me when I am afraid. Gradually, one-day-at-a-time, I can turn my fears over to a Power greater than my own.

GOALS FOR STEP FOUR

·        Describe a moral inventory.

·        Write an inventory of dishonesty and resentment.

·        Write and inventory of self-pity and false pride.

·        Write and inventory of criticism and destructive anger.

·        Write and inventory of fear and impatience.

·        When writing your, inventory give specific examples for each behavior and attitude.

·        Search the Bible for how God views each behavior and how we are to counteract the behavior through the examples in the Bible.

·        Record insights and Scripture references. Remember be honest. God created you as you are and loves you unconditionally.

·        Remember that prayer before I begin invites the LORD into this process with me and will help me to see what areas GOD needs to cleanse in me.  Use my sponsor's support, s/he is praying for me as I go through this process.

·        Not to be discouraged, when it gets tough. Even when I feel like walking away from the process, persevere, in the end, you are healed.

Remember you are loved!

MY MORAL INVENTORY - SEARCH WITHIN

My Moral Inventory – Search Within

Rigorous Honesty

STEP FOUR: Involves Self-Examination.

STEP FOUR: I Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of myself.

"Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the Lord". -- Lamentations 3:40

Fourth Step Prayer:

Dear God,

It is I who has made my life a mess.
I have done it, but I cannot undo it.

My mistakes are mine & I will begin a
searching & fearless moral inventory.

I will write down my wrongs,
but I will also include that which is good.

I pray for the strength to complete the task.

Amen

RECOVERY MEDITATIONS

To help you understand what the Scriptures say about the personal inventorying of our lives,

·        Numbers 23:18-24

·        Deuteronomy 30:15-20

·        Psalm 61:1-8

·        Proverbs 5:3-6

·        Proverbs 16:2,3

·        Isaiah 54:4-8

·        Matthew 11:27-30

·        Matthew 23:23-28

·        Luke 12:1-6

·        Romans 13:11-14

·        Acts 17:23-28

·        I Corinthians 4:19, 20

·        Galatians 6:3-5

·        James 4:7-10

*************************************************************

When Things Are Tough

These times are hard but challenge and adversity can push people toward their own greatness.  It can launch you on a deeper personal journey toward happiness, fulfillment, and a life of meaning.  As you look at ways to gather strength and improve self-esteem, remember it is not so much about what you have, but who you are:

Broke Is Not Broken

Being broke is not the same thing as being broken, losing money is not the same as being lost, and finding your balance is not something you can do on a balance sheet.

Having Less Doesn’t Mean You Are Less

Don’t confuse having less with being less, having more with being more, or what you have with who you are.

Savor Life and Slow Down

          When you are in a hurry, go slowly.  The faster you go in life the sooner it is a blur.

Prayer Creates a New Path

          Prayer creates a path where there is none and turns your stumbling blocks into building blocks.

Courage Is Not Absence of Fear

Put your faith, and not your fears, in charge.  Courage isn’t the absence of fears but how you wrestle with them.

Embrace the Future

If you are busy hugging the past, you can’t embrace the future.  Don’t let the past kidnap your future.

Change Is the Only Constant

This too shall pass.  Change is the only constant.  In order to take a breath, you must release your breath.

Make a Difference

Do what you can, but never forget that letting go is very different from giving up.  Of all the things you can make in life, remember that you make all the difference in your life.

Embrace Happiness

Tough times do not require you to be tough on yourself.  Find the courage to embrace happiness.

You Are Great

          Things don’t have to be good for you to be great.

Prayer of commitment to GOD:

Dear Jesus,

Thank YOU for making me and loving me,

even when I ignored you and gone my own way. 

I realize I need You in my life

and I’m sorry for my past behavior. 

I ask You to forgive me. 

As much as I know how, I want to follow You from now on.

Please come into my life and

make me a new person inside. 

I accept Your gift of salvation. 

Please help me to grow now as a Christian.

Amen.

* As you make your requests known to the Lord, include:

·        greater personal discipline,

·        worldwide persecuted Christians,

·        Hedge of protection to our children

·        Blessings to our spouses

·        Godly men in Government

·        Rest and Peace to our pastors

·        Your activities for the day.

Love One Another

Stand Together

Fight this war, no matter the cost

Pray for our children

Turn our hearts toward heaven

Seek to be one nation under God.

God Bless and Guide You in your Christian Walk Today

“The Lord bless you and keep you,
the Lord make his face shine upon you
and be gracious to you;
the Lord turn his face toward you
and give you peace.”
-- Numbers 6:24-27

You can help when no one else can."
  -- c. 2001, Alcoholics Anonymous, page 89
**********************************