Carried By His Wings© -- Sexual Purity Recovery

Wings Devotional Recovery ... May 17, 2010

The Month of May brings us to Step Five ...

INTEGRITY/TRUTH

STEP FIVE: Is the discipline of Confession.

STEP FIVE: I Admitted to God, to myself, and to another person the exact nature of my wrongs.

“Therefore Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.”  --James 5:16a

JUST FOR TODAY! -- Journey

Welcome to your Recovery Journey …

My name is_____________ and I'll be one of your accountability guides.  First of all, I want to thank you for asking me to join you in your Recovery Journey.  My own Recovery Journey led me to question my sanity, the existence of God, hated the universe, everyone and everything in it and made me consider relapse and even suicide.  I hope yours is as successful Recovery Journey.

Our destination is a place of happiness, joy and freedom called Serenity.  It's a place that doesn't actually exist now because it gets created by each recovering addict as they travel down the road to recovery.  That means not only do we not know what it's going to look like but there's no map either because the territory we have to cross to get there is the deepest, darkest parts of you.  Places nobody has ever been before and no one in their right mind would want to go which makes you the perfect person to make the journey.  Actually, you're the only person who can make the journey.

You probably didn't volunteer for this and may actually have thought you were on your way somewhere else but if you ended up here there's really only one way out --- through the highest and lowest areas of your faith, body, mind and spirit.  A lot of people like to engage in various forms of whining, sniveling and other expressions of wretched self-pity when they find this out.  Feel free.  It's a complete waste of time but I can wait while you get it out of your system.  It's better to do it now so it won't dilute the confusion and existential panic that comes if you make it far enough.

I'm an accountability guide not a porter which means for the hardest parts of your journey, you'll be on your own.  Hopefully by then you will have developed some conscious contact with God, the Holy Spirit and Jesus Christ, because, without the endless supply of spiritual wellbeing and faith God provides, you won't make it.  The journey will be littered with the remains of those who try to make it across the slippery, narrow trails over which you will pass without the spiritual balance provided by God.  These will either be empty husks that used to contain people or zombies masquerading as accountability guides, stumbling around muttering rationalizations and opinions while trying to get others to follow them.  They're easily recognizable because they're the ones with their heads up their behinds and so have to shout loudly and emphatically to be heard.

Zombies tell you things you want to hear so you'll keep listening.  They're not actually interested in helping you on your journey.  Having their heads up their butt's means they have a dark, shitty point of view and all they can see is themselves.  The best accountability guides make you feel like you are sitting quietly beside a deep pool of calm water when you come near them but they say things like 'Keep It Simple' that will confuse you utterly at first.  Sometimes all that is left of your predecessors is a weird, chilly vibe that makes you want to look behind you.  Sometimes there is just a shadow.

A memory of a memory.  Many recovering addicts start their journey off with great fanfare by cheering throngs only to disappear without a trace.  They started with pure intentions but were lured off the path by money, sex, fame, power or social standing.  These are only some of the many distractions that can lead you off the trail.  It will take more courage and determination than you knew you had to stay on your path.

Along the way you may get angry with me, blame me for some horrible thing I said or did (or, if you're really desperate to take the focus off yourself and/or find an excuse to quit/relapse, something I didn't do/say).  I felt the same way about my accountability guides.  Usually, the ones I was the angriest with were only showing me my most important truths.  While you are an interesting and beautiful person whom I would be blessed to count among my inner circle of friends, my role as a accountability guide must come first so, if I'm not regularly upsetting you and pointing you at deeply disturbing points of interest along the way I would not be doing my job.  Also, I'm still on my recovery journey.  God put us together as a divine appointment because we have things to teach/learn from each other.  If the price of your recovery journey is that you (hopefully temporarily) think less of me I'll gladly pay it.

We both know what your character defects are and know you would never consider making the journey unless others had gone before you.  I was the same way.  Even the first recovery voyagers had the example of recovery groups to light their way.  I can only marvel at (and thank God for) those who blazed the first recovery trails.  I've only made it this far because those who came before me held up mirrors made from their own insights to show me the way. 

I hope your recovery journey is successful. 

( Author unknown to me...  passing it on in the spirit of the fellowship.  )

Stay connected, We need each other,

This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all.  If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth.  But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin. -- I John 1:3-7

STEP FIVE -- Is the beginning of the end of MY isolation ...

RECOVERY MEDITATIONS

To help you understand what the Scriptures say about confessing to God, to myself and another person ... 

Genesis 38:1-30

Proverbs 28:13-14

Hosea 11:8-11

Amos 7:7-8

Luke 15:17-20

John 8:3-11

Acts 19:18

Acts 26:12-18

Romans 2:14-15

II Corinthians 10:3-5

Galatians 6:7-10

Hebrews 4:12-16

James 5:16

I John 1:8-9

Recalling My List Of Defects From Step Four.

1.  Self - Pity

2.  Self - Justification

3.  Self - Importance

4.  Self - Condemnation

5.  Dishonesty

6.  Impatient

7.  Resentments

8.  False Pride

9.  Jealousy

10.  Envy

11.  Laziness

12.  Procrastination

13.  Insincerity

14.  Negative Thinking

15.  Immoral Thinking

16.  Criticizing

17.  Fear

18.  Greed

19.  Stealing

20.  Lust

21.  Loose Talk & Gossip

Fifth Step Prayer

Higher Power,
My inventory has shown me who I am, yet I ask for Your help
in admitting my wrongs to another person & to You.
Assure me, & be with me, in this Step,
for without this Step I cannot progress in my recovery.
With Your help, I can do this & I will do it.

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The Man in the Glass

Author Unknown

When you get what you want in your struggles for self

And the world makes you king for a day,

Just go to a mirror and look at yourself

And see what that man has to say.

For it isn't your father or mother or wife

Whose judgment upon you must pass,

The fellow whose verdict counts most in your life

Is the one staring back from the glass.

Some people might think you're a straight-shooting chum

And call you a wonderful guy.

But the man in the glass says you're only a bum

If you can't look him straight in the eye.

He's the fellow to please, never mind all the rest

For he's with you clear to the end

And you've passed your most dangerous test

If the guy in the glass is your friend.

You may fool the whole world down the pathway of years

And get pats on the back as you pass

But your final reward will be heartache and tears

If you've cheated the man in the glass.

The Story goes that this poem was scrawled on the walls of death row in an American prison.  With these type of affirmations firmly in our minds, we can assure ourselves that it doesn’t matter how many mistakes we make along the way – we will never really fail.  For a of us, “People Pleasing” and “Peer Group Pressure” were a couple of reasons that began our Journey On the Highway To Hell in the first place. 

If we outwardly appear to be “wonderful”, yet our hearts become full of resentment, bitterness and hatred;

Hatred will act as a cancer and destroy whatever we have built.

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TO "LET GO"

To "let go" does not mean to stop caring,
it means I can't do it for someone else.

To "let go" is not to cut myself off,
it's the realization I can't control another.

To "let go" is not to enable,
but to allow learning from natural consequences.

To "let go" is to admit powerlessness,
which means the outcome is not in my hands.

To "let go" is not to try to change or blame another,
it’s to make the most of myself.

To "let go" is not to care for, but care about.

To "let go" is not to fix, but to be supportive.

To "let go" is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.

To "let go" is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes,
but to allow others to affect their own destinies.

To "let go" is not to be protective,
it's to permit another to face reality.

To "let go" is not to deny, but to accept.

To "let go" is not to adjust everything to my desires
but to take each day as it comes, and cherish myself in it.

To "let go" is not to regret the past,
but to grow and live for the future.

To "let go" is to fear less and love more..."

            author unknown

GOALS FOR STEP FOUR

· Describe a moral inventory.

· Write an inventory of dishonesty and resentment.

· Write and inventory of self-pity and false pride.

· Write and inventory of criticism and destructive anger.

· Write and inventory of fear and impatience.

·  When writing your, inventory give specific examples for each behavior and attitude.

· Search the Bible for how God views each behavior and how we are to counteract the behavior through the examples in the Bible.

· Record insights and Scripture references. Remember be honest. God created you as you are and loves you unconditionally.

· Remember that prayer before I begin invites the LORD into this process with me and will help me to see what areas GOD needs to cleanse in me.  Use my sponsor's support, s/he is praying for me as I go through this process.

· Not to be discouraged, when it gets tough. Even when I feel like walking away from the process, persevere, in the end, you are healed.

Remember you are loved!

STEP FOUR: Involves Self-Examination.

STEP FOUR: I Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of myself.

"Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the Lord". -- Lamentations 3:40

Fourth Step Prayer:

Dear God,

It is I who has made my life a mess.
I have done it, but I cannot undo it.

My mistakes are mine & I will begin a
searching & fearless moral inventory.

I will write down my wrongs,
but I will also include that which is good.

I pray for the strength to complete the task.

Amen

RECOVERY MEDITATIONS

To help you understand what the Scriptures say about the personal inventorying of our lives,

·  Numbers 23:18-24

·  Deuteronomy 30:15-20

·  Psalm 61:1-8

·  Proverbs 5:3-6

·  Proverbs 16:2,3

·  Isaiah 54:4-8

·  Matthew 11:27-30

·  Matthew 23:23-28

·  Luke 12:1-6

·  Romans 13:11-14

·  Acts 17:23-28

·  I Corinthians 4:19, 20

·  Galatians 6:3-5

·   James 4:7-10

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When Things Are Tough

These times are hard but challenge and adversity can push people toward their own greatness.  It can launch you on a deeper personal journey toward happiness, fulfillment, and a life of meaning.  As you look at ways to gather strength and improve self-esteem, remember it is not so much about what you have, but who you are:

Broke Is Not Broken

Being broke is not the same thing as being broken, losing money is not the same as being lost, and finding your balance is not something you can do on a balance sheet.

Having Less Doesn’t Mean You Are Less

Don’t confuse having less with being less, having more with being more, or what you have with who you are.

Savor Life and Slow Down

          When you are in a hurry, go slowly.  The faster you go in life the sooner it is a blur.

Prayer Creates a New Path

          Prayer creates a path where there is none and turns your stumbling blocks into building blocks.

Courage Is Not Absence of Fear

Put your faith, and not your fears, in charge.  Courage isn’t the absence of fears but how you wrestle with them.

Embrace the Future

If you are busy hugging the past, you can’t embrace the future.  Don’t let the past kidnap your future.

Change Is the Only Constant

This too shall pass.  Change is the only constant.  In order to take a breath, you must release your breath.

Make a Difference

Do what you can, but never forget that letting go is very different from giving up.  Of all the things you can make in life, remember that you make all the difference in your life.

Embrace Happiness

Tough times do not require you to be tough on yourself.  Find the courage to embrace happiness.

You Are Great

          Things don’t have to be good for you to be great.

Prayer of commitment to GOD:

Dear Jesus,

Thank YOU for making me and loving me,

even when I ignored you and gone my own way. 

I realize I need You in my life

and I’m sorry for my past behavior. 

I ask You to forgive me. 

As much as I know how, I want to follow You from now on.

Please come into my life and

make me a new person inside. 

I accept Your gift of salvation. 

Please help me to grow now as a Christian.

Amen.

* As you make your requests known to the Lord, include:

·        greater personal discipline,

·        worldwide persecuted Christians,

·        Hedge of protection to our children

·        Blessings to our spouses

·        Godly men in Government

·        Rest and Peace to our pastors

·        Your activities for the day.

Love One Another

Stand Together

Fight this war, no matter the cost

Pray for our children

Turn our hearts toward heaven

Seek to be one nation under God.

God Bless and Guide You in your Christian Walk Today

“The Lord bless you and keep you,
the Lord make his face shine upon you
and be gracious to you;
the Lord turn his face toward you
and give you peace.”
-- Numbers 6:24-27

You can help when no one else can."
  -- c. 2001, Alcoholics Anonymous, page 89
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