Carried By His Wings© -- Sexual Purity Recovery

Wings Devotional Recovery ... September 6, 2010

We are starting month nine time about asking for forgiveness …

How is your Recovery Journey coming along

We are in the process of Making amends to the ones we hurt …

RECOVER THE TRUTH

Step Nine: Is the discipline of making amends.

I make direct amends to people wherever possible, except when doing so will injure them or others.

“Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar.  First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.” -- Matthew 5:23-24

Just For Today – Step Nine -- Beginning

"We usually want to sit down with some member of the family and readily admit the damage we have done by our drinking.  Almost always we want to go further and admit other defects that have made us hard to live with.  This will be a very different occasion, and in sharp contrast with those hangover mornings when we alternated between reviling ourselves and blaming the family (and everyone else) for our troubles. . . . It is necessary only that we make a general admission of our defects. It may be unwise at this stage to rehash certain harrowing episodes. . . . We must be sure to remember that we cannot buy our own peace of mind at the expense of others."

© 1952, AAWS, Inc.; Printed 2005; Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, pg. 84 Alcoholics Anonymous, AA, and the Big Book are registered trademarks of Alcoholics Anonymous World Services. Just For Today is neither endorsed by, approved by, associated, nor affiliated with Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc., or The AA Grapevine, Inc.

Wings Devotional© Daily Meditation Translation

is property of Wings Of Eagles Recovery©

Just for Today -- A Daily Devotional

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Living in active addiction for the length of time most of us do, we have to realize that it is not about us.  For a very long time, we have been the center of our universe.  That is why making amends is Step 9 and not Step 1 or 2.  We have to learn humility and grace. 

Making amends is not cleansing us so to speak, it is making a general admission of our part in the problem, not retelling all the sordid details to our loved ones over and over again.  They really do know – they really do remember – they really are hurting.

Remember it is not about us – it is about God and His plan in our recovery – and it is about loving our family and friends and putting their needs before ours when we process this Step, remembering that they remember – probably better than we do – and their hurt goes deep.

Remember to work Step 9 – with always the thought in mind – How will my words affect the other person – will they be hurtful for them – never make the first thought – will they be cleansing for me.

Time will allow us more detail and more healing – as God directs us.

9 For this very reason, Christ died and returned to life so that he might be the Lord of both the dead and the living.

10You, then, why do you judge your brother?  Or why do you look down on your brother?  For we will all stand before God's judgment seat.

11It is written:
" 'As surely as I live,' says the Lord,
every knee will bow before me;
every tongue will confess to God.'"

12 So then, each of us will give an account of himself to God.

13 Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother's way.

14 As one who is in the Lord Jesus, I am fully convinced that no food is unclean in itself. But if anyone regards something as unclean, then for him it is unclean.

15 If your brother is distressed because of what you eat, you are no longer acting in love. Do not by your eating destroy your brother for whom Christ died.

16 Do not allow what you consider good to be spoken of as evil.

17 For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit,

18 because anyone who serves Christ in this way is pleasing to God and approved by men. -- Romans 14:9-17

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RECOVER THE TRUTH

Step Nine: Is the discipline of making amends.

I make direct amends to people wherever possible, except when doing so will injure them or others.

“Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar.  First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.” -- Matthew 5:23-24

Now go back to the Fourth Step and look for all people you have harmed, starting with yourself, family, friends, employers, etc.  Write down next to the person’s name what character defect or defects were operating in your relationship with them.  You have the list of defects you admitted to in your Fifth Step.

Go over all the people or institutions that are in the eight step list you created (from the fourth step).  All amends that are possible, must be made before you can go any further in the steps.  This is the step, that separates the men from the boys,(or women from the girls), and the amount of finished amends that you do will have a direct effect on how well you recover and stay recovered.

If at all possible, the amends must be done directly to the person or institution, no phone calls, or letters.  An important part of the healing power in this step is when you see the reaction of those whom you have harmed, by showing them that you are taking responsibility for your actions.

Whether the person harmed you (real or imagined) is not important.  You are the person who needs to get well.  There is no justification for your previous wrong doing towards them.

There are some reasons why an amends cannot be made directly in person;

1)  The person is dead-pray to God for forgiveness.

2)  You owe more money than you can pay back at this time-try to begin by paying off small debts then pay small amounts on each of the larger ones until they are finally paid off.

3)  The person lives too far away and you have no means to get to them,-pray to God for forgiveness, but keep the person on your list in case the day comes when you will have the means to go to them.

4)  If making amends would harm the person-if you do not feel spiritually fit to make a certain amends, then do not do it.  Pray about it, and also talk about it to your sponsor, friend, priest, counselor, or Rabbi.  For example; if you cheated on your wife, and you know that confessing to her will hurt her and possibly breakup your marriage, then you are better off if you begin to walk the walk instead of talking the talk.

5)  If making amends would harm others-for example; if you believe that your amends may put you in jail and that would mean your wife and children would be without a father and provider-then try to make the amends anonymously by making contributions to them, or by leaving the money in their mailbox, or you can give something to your favorite charity.  These type of situations will not prevent you from finishing the rest of the steps.

As you can see, this is one of the most sensitive and difficult steps.

Besides the Fourth, this is the step that most people balk at the most. But remember, the willingness to make the amends is usually the hardest hurdle to overcome.

The following three things must be done before venturing out on any amends.

1)  Make sure the person or others will not be harmed by your amends.

2)  Talk to someone about the amends.  Because what comes to us alone may be our own rationalization and wishful thinking.

3)  Say the following prayer.

Lord, make me a channel of they peace-

that where there is hatred,

I may bring love-

that where there is wrong,

I may bring the spirit of forgiveness –

that where there is discord,

I may bring harmony-

that where there is error,

I may bring truth-

that where there is doubt,

I may bring faith,

that where there is despair,

I may bring hope-

that where there are shadows,

I may bring light-

that where there is sadness,

I may bring joy.

Lord, grant that I may seek

rather to comfort than to be comforted,

to understand,

than to be understood-to love,

than to be loved.

For it is by self-forgetting that one finds.

It is by forgiving that one is forgiven.

It is by dying that one awakens to Eternal Life.

9th Step Prayer

God give me the strength and direction

to do the right thing no matter what the consequences may be.

Help me to consider others and not harm them in any way.

Help me to consult with others before I take any actions that would cause me to be sorry.

Help me to not repeat such behaviors.

Show me the way of Patience, Tolerance, Kindliness, and Love

and help me live the spiritual life.

AMEN

(p. 78-80 BB)

Bible Reading For Step Nine

II Samuel 9:1-9

Ezekiel 33:10-16

Matthew 5:23-25

Luke 19:1-10

Philemon 1:13-16

I Peter 2:18-25

The Word of God again tells us about the step:

Book of Proverbs chapter 14 verses 9 - 12 "Fools mock at making amends for sin, but goodwill is found among the upright.  Each heart know its own bitterness, and no one else can share its joy.  The house of the wicked will be destroyed, but the tent of the upright will flourish.  There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death."

OUR FATHER

Our Father, who art in heaven,

May your name be kept holy,

May your kingdom come,

May your will be done,

On this earth, as it is in heaven.

Give us today, the food we need,

And forgive us our wrongs,

As we forgive,

The wrongs that others have done us.

And lead us not into temptation,

But deliver us from the evil one,

For thine is the kingdom,

The power

And the glory,

Forever and ever,

Amen

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The Man in the Glass

Author Unknown

When you get what you want in your struggles for self

And the world makes you king for a day,

Just go to a mirror and look at yourself

And see what that man has to say.

For it isn't your father or mother or wife

Whose judgment upon you must pass,

The fellow whose verdict counts most in your life

Is the one staring back from the glass.

Some people might think you're a straight-shooting chum

And call you a wonderful guy.

But the man in the glass says you're only a bum

If you can't look him straight in the eye.

He's the fellow to please, never mind all the rest

For he's with you clear to the end

And you've passed your most dangerous test

If the guy in the glass is your friend.

You may fool the whole world down the pathway of years

And get pats on the back as you pass

But your final reward will be heartache and tears

If you've cheated the man in the glass.

The Story goes that this poem was scrawled on the walls of death row in an American prison.  With these type of affirmations firmly in our minds, we can assure ourselves that it doesn’t matter how many mistakes we make along the way – we will never really fail.  For a of us, “People Pleasing” and “Peer Group Pressure” were a couple of reasons that began our Journey On the Highway To Hell in the first place. 

If we outwardly appear to be “wonderful”, yet our hearts become full of resentment, bitterness and hatred;

Hatred will act as a cancer and destroy whatever we have built.

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TO "LET GO"

To "let go" does not mean to stop caring,
it means I can't do it for someone else.

To "let go" is not to cut myself off,
it's the realization I can't control another.

To "let go" is not to enable,
but to allow learning from natural consequences.

To "let go" is to admit powerlessness,
which means the outcome is not in my hands.

To "let go" is not to try to change or blame another,
it’s to make the most of myself.

To "let go" is not to care for, but care about.

To "let go" is not to fix, but to be supportive.

To "let go" is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.

To "let go" is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes,
but to allow others to affect their own destinies.

To "let go" is not to be protective,
it's to permit another to face reality.

To "let go" is not to deny, but to accept.

To "let go" is not to adjust everything to my desires
but to take each day as it comes, and cherish myself in it.

To "let go" is not to regret the past,
but to grow and live for the future.

To "let go" is to fear less and love more..."

            author unknown

GOALS FOR STEP FOUR

· Describe a moral inventory.

· Write an inventory of dishonesty and resentment.

· Write and inventory of self-pity and false pride.

· Write and inventory of criticism and destructive anger.

· Write and inventory of fear and impatience.

·  When writing your, inventory give specific examples for each behavior and attitude.

· Search the Bible for how God views each behavior and how we are to counteract the behavior through the examples in the Bible.

· Record insights and Scripture references. Remember be honest. God created you as you are and loves you unconditionally.

· Remember that prayer before I begin invites the LORD into this process with me and will help me to see what areas GOD needs to cleanse in me.  Use my sponsor's support, s/he is praying for me as I go through this process.

· Not to be discouraged, when it gets tough. Even when I feel like walking away from the process, persevere, in the end, you are healed.

Remember you are loved!

STEP FOUR: Involves Self-Examination.

STEP FOUR: I Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of myself.

"Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the Lord". -- Lamentations 3:40

Fourth Step Prayer:

Dear God,

It is I who has made my life a mess.
I have done it, but I cannot undo it.

My mistakes are mine & I will begin a
searching & fearless moral inventory.

I will write down my wrongs,
but I will also include that which is good.

I pray for the strength to complete the task.

Amen

RECOVERY MEDITATIONS

To help you understand what the Scriptures say about the personal inventorying of our lives,

·  Numbers 23:18-24

·  Deuteronomy 30:15-20

·  Psalm 61:1-8

·  Proverbs 5:3-6

·  Proverbs 16:2,3

·  Isaiah 54:4-8

·  Matthew 11:27-30

·  Matthew 23:23-28

·  Luke 12:1-6

·  Romans 13:11-14

·  Acts 17:23-28

·  I Corinthians 4:19, 20

·  Galatians 6:3-5

·   James 4:7-10

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When Things Are Tough

These times are hard but challenge and adversity can push people toward their own greatness.  It can launch you on a deeper personal journey toward happiness, fulfillment, and a life of meaning.  As you look at ways to gather strength and improve self-esteem, remember it is not so much about what you have, but who you are:

Broke Is Not Broken

Being broke is not the same thing as being broken, losing money is not the same as being lost, and finding your balance is not something you can do on a balance sheet.

Having Less Doesn’t Mean You Are Less

Don’t confuse having less with being less, having more with being more, or what you have with who you are.

Savor Life and Slow Down

          When you are in a hurry, go slowly.  The faster you go in life the sooner it is a blur.

Prayer Creates a New Path

          Prayer creates a path where there is none and turns your stumbling blocks into building blocks.

Courage Is Not Absence of Fear

Put your faith, and not your fears, in charge.  Courage isn’t the absence of fears but how you wrestle with them.

Embrace the Future

If you are busy hugging the past, you can’t embrace the future.  Don’t let the past kidnap your future.

Change Is the Only Constant

This too shall pass.  Change is the only constant.  In order to take a breath, you must release your breath.

Make a Difference

Do what you can, but never forget that letting go is very different from giving up.  Of all the things you can make in life, remember that you make all the difference in your life.

Embrace Happiness

Tough times do not require you to be tough on yourself.  Find the courage to embrace happiness.

You Are Great

          Things don’t have to be good for you to be great.

Prayer of commitment to GOD:

Dear Jesus,

Thank YOU for making me and loving me,

even when I ignored you and gone my own way. 

I realize I need You in my life

and I’m sorry for my past behavior. 

I ask You to forgive me. 

As much as I know how, I want to follow You from now on.

Please come into my life and

make me a new person inside. 

I accept Your gift of salvation. 

Please help me to grow now as a Christian.

Amen.

* As you make your requests known to the Lord, include:

·        greater personal discipline,

·        worldwide persecuted Christians,

·        Hedge of protection to our children

·        Blessings to our spouses

·        Godly men in Government

·        Rest and Peace to our pastors

·        Your activities for the day.

Love One Another

Stand Together

Fight this war, no matter the cost

Pray for our children

Turn our hearts toward heaven

Seek to be one nation under God.

God Bless and Guide You in your Christian Walk Today

“The Lord bless you and keep you,
the Lord make his face shine upon you
and be gracious to you;
the Lord turn his face toward you
and give you peace.”
-- Numbers 6:24-27

You can help when no one else can."
  -- c. 2001, Alcoholics Anonymous, page 89
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