Wings of Eagles

Recovery

If you desire sobriety, the Christian 12 Step Recovery Program will lead you to an understanding of the healing power the Lord offers through the steps. This faith-based program allows Jesus to restore us to a normal life. The groups support the growing process of daily seeking God's will for a Christian life instead of controlling our own life.

The Christian 12 Step Recovery group focus on working the steps with a sponsor and studying the Word of God through the Holy Spirit. The Lord begins to do for us what we cannot do for ourselves. This process brings God’s healing to our wounded souls.  

The Christian Recovery Group provides the spiritual love and support necessary to those that are seeking sobriety, and the reinforcement to those that have already achieved sobriety.  

           “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up.” -- Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

TESTIMONIES:

***** Short Liners -- Changes Every Monday ...

I didn't know I had so many problems that involved alcohol until the veil was lifted from my eyes. All my relationships involved someone who has a problem with alcohol; my father, husband, brothers-in-law. All the men in my life and my sister's lives have a similar addiction. How did this happen? Al-Anon showed me I was under a veil. Then meeting by meeting they lifted it for me by sharing similar stories. I now know that I am not crazy and I can help myself. -- Lori

There are many things that the program of Alcoholics Anonymous has thought me but one of the most important things at the beginning was simply a question. I was taught to replace the question "why?" with "how?" When I got here I was full of why's. Then I started asking how do I recover, how do I live sober, how do I start to be honest and how do I work the steps? The results from this replacement is "indescribably wonderful" and the results are all God's! -- Rhyan

Having wonderful sponsees helps to keep me working my program. Sharing my experience, strength, and hope with others, in the program, is one of the highlights which my Higher Power provides. I am learning so much about living a sane life, one-day-at-a-time. -- Catherine C. 

I thank God for AA, get on my knees in the morning to pray, read my morning meditations, work on being humble, help by making coffee at meetings, talk... basically everything I can that is suggested. It's been just about four months now and I've had ruff times, but I handle them differently now! Life is okay for today and I feel hopeful. -- Jason M.

Listening to others is also so beneficial because hearing others express the same things I have felt or dealt with me makes feel less like my situation is unique. This helps me to accept my background and how it has shaped me and to move on to living a saner life. The give and take of listening and sharing in my meetings and the impact this has made in my life is a gift that I can only describe as divine. These people are my family and know more about the real me than my family of origin. -- Radar

***** End Short Liners -- Last Change August 18, 2008 ...

Hello, I bless you with Jeremiah 29:11, and I would like to say that it
is very important for the body of believers to be of 'one accord' and
therefore, the Scripture that you gave, in Ecclesiastes is very
appropriate.

Brother, I was raised in a home where alcohol was consumed in a great
quantity. After 25 years of putting up with my father's abusive
behavior, my mother sought counseling from her parish priest. The
priest could only recommend that the entire family 'shun' my father. As
I had already sought help through Adult Children of Alcoholics and then
became a counselor myself, I did not go along with this approach. 
Instead, my entire family shunned me! I said to my mother, 'Mom, if any
of us had a serious, life-threatening disease, what is the first thing
you would do?" "Send you to a doctor of course!" "But wouldn't you pray
for us?" "Pray! What good would that do?"

My mother and father were not re-generate 'Christians' although they
often went to 'church'. My father totally rejected the Bible and even
told me when I had become a Christian that I was not welcome under his
roof. (I was 17). The Lord provided and even though I had to give up the
university education that my father's company would have paid for as an
employee benefit, I chose the Lord.  Halleluiah! 10 years later, the Lord
Himself would pay for my tuition, I won scholarships. I was even able to
travel to Spain, where I studied architecture. 10 years later, I became
a high school teacher. 9 years ago, my father died, suddenly, still a
scoffer. My family had still rejected me and would not allow me to speak
at his funeral. (I did anyway.)

This year, at Easter, I sent my mother a Bible with a cover painted by
Thomas Kincaide. (truly lovely). As I was away on a mission trip and did
not arrive back home until after Mother's day, I was a bit afraid to
contact my mom. To my surprise, when I was in touch by phone, she said,
"Tricia, thank you so much for the lovely book of inspirational
sayings!" "Mom, that is no ordinary book! Would it surprise you to hear
that it is the Bible?" "Well, I heard that they call it the Good Book!
No wonder! I can't put it down!"

I am praying for my family still. I would ask that you pray for me as I
travel back (2 days driving) to my home town, searching for believers. I
have been working with believers who are persecuted, and the Lord has
shown me a secret to His kingdom: 2 Cor. 7:11, and 2 Cor 10:6. By
publicly speaking to believers and non-believers, I lift up the Name of
Jesus, and in doing so, I am 'taking revenge' on our enemies who have
persecuted our brothers and sisters in Cambodia, Vietnam, Belaurs,
Russia, Nepal, Pakistan, China, and many 'Islamic' nations.

Your message of recovery is met with my prayers and I truly ask that you
would pray for me as my entire family has been afflicted by addiction.
Love, Tricia

Dear marijuana, alcohol, and cocaine,

            You have been there when I needed you but today I write to you to say you are no longer needed or wanted.

            I can remember when I first laid eyes, hands, nose and mouth on you; your taste was bitter sweet.  Marijuana the age of 13 you were introduced to me through John H and Wyatt A through a piece of rolled up foil in the shape of a ghetto pipe.  I took a hit of that very strange smelling smoke and the love affair started.  You made me feel like I had drifted away into another place or state of mind.  I was thinking to my self that if everybody knew of you all their pains and worries would just disappear.  

     The time that we spent together was short but we stayed in touch and the next thing I knew we were together for every occasion be it social or at home alone.  When I was alone with you I always felt bad for being with you for some reason.  I guess that is why the bible says that misery looks for companionship to do its evil.  Well you slowly got introduced to my liquid friend alcohol.  She was a great mix with you and she got me there real fast.  When you were not around I always had her in my hand.  I drank her and drank her until I had to have her everyday.  Jumping ahead a little now age 15.  

     I started to put you both first in my life before friends and family.  I moved to San Antonio and lived in my truck though times would get tuff you remained there with me.  I met some other friends who knew you as well but they had many new hoes in their lives.  

     I then met up with acid now she was a little weird but I found a place for her little flat square self right under my tongue.  We had a short-lived relationship like three months but is was every weekend.  

     I had some fun with the little silaciven mushroom she was better because it was natural what a joke of rationalization.  I’m now 17 and I have managed to get a girl pregnant and we got married for the child’s sake bad move we never loved each other not even a little.  So we moved away down to the valley.  It was there that I tried to leave you my long time friends, but was unsuccessful.  I push my wife away and made room for you again.  

     I started college in Harlingen at the age of 18.  The first semester was great all A’s but things started to hit bottom I was now starting to missing my now two children one I only knew for 5 days.  So I pick right back up where we left off.  I met some other people who were in love with you as well.  You were so easy to come by there it was great.  Well after many nights of going to Mexico and drinking and partying I met John and he had a fast paced friend that would help you drink all night (cocaine.)  Wow was she what I had been looking for all along.  Now there was never a night that I didn’t have a little of her in my life.  It grew to the point of $13,000 in three months.  I gave you my everything and began to look no more you were mine.  

     I OD’d on you and my heart stopped beating in my chest and looking down at my slowly disappearing feet it began to grow black.  The blackness was slowly creeping up my body and at the point of it reaching my neck I gasped with everything that I could muster up some breath and I cried out GOD I know that you have a plan for my life please spare my life and I will promise to serve you from here on out.  The blackness lifted and my heart began to beat ever so fast.  I was spared from the death grip you had on my life cocaine.  I got on the phone and called my parents and told them the truth about all the lies and my addiction to drugs and alcohol.  I asked them if I could come and live with them and I will never forget what my mom said I will have to call you back son.  I held the phone out and thought how could you, as if I had some reason to think that my opinion was important.  So we hung up the phones and about 45 minutes later I get a call back and its my father (I will never forget the empty feeling that I felt) when he said no son we cannot allow you to come live with us, we cannot trust you.  You have stolen from us, lied to us, cheated us and most of all hurt us, but what I can do is give you a number to call to get help.   

     That number was the very thing that I needed to have.  Victory Outreach in San Antonio.  It was there that I was delivered from the everyday desire for you cocaine.  I lived there for about 3 months and left to live with my parents in Bryan, TX.  I fell out of accountability with those true friends that I had and slowly began to fall out of prayer and reading my Bible.  I started to cuss a little and before long I was looking for you again.  It would all start with some little pain or thought I would have about a person and then I would get made at that person and want to respond with you and alcohol in retaliation.  Thinking that I was doing it to hurt them but it was just to have a reason to come back to you cocaine.  I started going to church and was doing pretty good when I met my new wife Karen H.  We dated for a while and things got tuff in my life and I ran to you cocaine once more for comfort.  In that time Karen and I managed to work things out but I never told her about you.  We got married and began to work as house parents at Still Creek Boys Ranch but even there I had not faced my anger issues and a boy by the name of Lonnie age 14 called me out to fight him.  I had had it with this kid so I took my shirt off and got in his face and yelling at the top of my lungs told him to hit me but as soon as he did I was going to lay him out on the floor right there.  My wife was in the room with me and she got scared because she had never seen this side of me.  

     I got on the phone with his probation officer and told her to have him pick up after explaining the whole thing to her.  Well the state got involved and the ranch was faced with having to let us go.  No house no money, no food, no nothing.  So we moved to San Antonio and lived with my sister for a while.  Karen started working with my sister and I started looking for a job.  In the course of looking for a job I met Josh B and we started working with Excel.  He was a Christian so he said, but we would have a few beers here and there.  We would go out on the lake and wake board my boat and drink on the lake.  I was at the point where I thought that I could handle alcohol.  Well one night after we had had a few drinks (which my wife never approved of) I called her on my way home and she got real mad that I had been drinking so I got mad and yelled a little bit and the search was on for you cocaine.  

     I went over to my old friends house the one I knew at the age of 15 and he still lived there in the same place.  Well he knew a friend that knew a friend and we were together again.  It went on several more times after that when times would get tuff I would call on you.  This happened for the last time and I called my wife and told her about you and lying about my hidden sin.  This is the last time that we will ever be together.  I cut off and sever all my ties with you and your friends’ alcohol and marijuana.  You are never invited into my life again. 

REALITY

All three of you took something from me.

1.       Marijuana… you began to sever my relationships with God, friends and family.  You made me run from my problems and not face them.

2.       Drinking… all you did is numb my emotions for a brief time and you gave me a headache afterwards.

3.       Cocaine…you were the worst to me you always I mean every moment wanted me to be with you.  The responsibilities that I had to my wife, children, parents, school and friends, I push away from to be with you.  You taught me to hurt those that I needed the most by lying to them and to myself, cheating, stealing, manipulating, taking them for granted and think that they would always be around.  Well guess what you were very wrong in your ways.  I lost everything, all respect that I had from everybody that knew me, my home, my car, my family’s love, and my children.  I now stand before you and say GET THE HELL OUT OF MY LIFE DEVIL, YOU HAVE NO PLACE THERE. 

I surrender to you LORD and Savior Jesus Christ and say have you way in my thoughts and though patterns, actions and every aspect of my life.  Come into my life Holy Spirit and guide me into all truth once again.  GOD you rule in my life your will be done not my own.

Good-bye devil and Hello FATHER

Signed,

Ryan S

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Hi Everyone:-)      

My name is Bonnie and I am an addict.  I was checking out this group via sponsor suggestion.  I love to meet people in recovery from all over.  It makes me feel such a part of something bigger than myself, and some days I am pretty big, lol.  

Other than at work or family, everyone I know today is in recovery.  I never realized that giving up that old life was going to bring me the riches I enjoy today.  I lead a very busy life, but recovery is always my first priority, I know if I am not caring for myself, then life will once again be not worth living.  I have found freedom, peace, acceptance, humility, a HP, and self-love through the process of working the 12 steps.  I LOVE the steps, I love this new way of life.  I know that it is through understanding AND application that they work.  I am always seeking a better understanding.  

I look forward to getting to know you and sharing our experiences, strengths, and hopes.  I am so grateful to all of you for being here when I could no longer live with or without the use of drugs, you have brought me out of total hopelessness into a life filled with hope beyond my wildest expectations.  Somehow no matter what life presents to me, knowing that staying clean just for today is my biggest priority, nothing seems too big for us to get through together.       So here's a question for you that I am seeking a better understanding on:  I know how to share experience, I know how to share hope, but how do I share strength?  How do I ask for strength?      

Nice to meet you I'll be back:-)Bonnie

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The leaders of our country involved with the official services today have almost universally chosen to not share anything original, but are rather reading quotes from other leaders, at other times.  While I certainly don't put myself in their category, I feel a need to try to communicate my feelings on this day to my brothers and sisters in recovery. In many ways I feel it is a mistake to think of ourselves (addicts) as fundamentally different from the rest of the world.  I think we are really more alike than different. 

We just found a solution for the challenges of living that ultimately turned out to be a much bigger problem than anything we may have been seeking relief from.  It is that "solution" that unites us in a common purpose. But, having said that, I wanted to express what I am feeling about what today means to me as an addict. The disease of addiction has been affecting the human race for as long as we have recorded history.  The baffling heartbreak of the disease has traditionally led families, doctors and governments to treat the addict as a morally deficient criminal, and punishment rather than treatment has been our history.  Nothing and I believe it is safe to underscore that word – nothing, worked with any consistency or in broad application for those so afflicted. And then, in the story that most of us know so well, a miraculous series of events conspired to create a solution.  One sad, sick drunk had an experience, and then met another drunk who helped him understand that experience as it applied to his disease – and most importantly for us, how to put it to work in the lives of others. Could that have happened in any other time, or in any other place than in America?  

While we certainly cannot know that, we do know it did not happen before or anywhere else.  I have always considered myself to be patriotic, and I love my country.  I just never really knew how fiercely I felt that until September 11, 2001.  Considering what individual freedom means to my recovery, and believing as I do that one could not exist without the other, my feeling of love for my country has really grown over the last year. While I hurt today with all my fellow Americans, I wanted to communicate what joy and hope I feel as well.  Freedom, the foundation of what we often call the American spirit, has special meaning to me as an addict. Personal freedom and prosperity gave me the time and means to use, and I nearly lost both of those things forever as a result.  Freedom from active addiction is all I was promised, but I have been given so many kinds of freedom that I am humbled in my attempt to either name or express gratitude for them all. Finally, I want to thank the Program, all of you, and especially my Higher Power for the most profound freedom of all; freedom from fear. I know in my heart that whatever happens to me, to my country, to those I love and cherish, I will be given whatever I need to survive it.  I went to a noon meeting last September 11th, and I will again today.  

I need to be with my "family", it is where I go when I need to feel connected to the universe and God's loving presence. I add my prayers to all the other ones being said today for our country, our leaders and those of our neighbors grieving very personal losses today.  I will also say a special prayer for all the addicts I hold so dear in my heart, and you are one of those. Thank you for my recovery, my freedom and ultimately, my life. 

Suzanne B.  New Beginnings, Tyler TX.

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I was in active addiction for over 20 years, hit many bottoms and hurt some very precious people. My last bottom involved my children declaring that they had had enough, and unlike all the bottoms that preceding this one, this time I took notice - really took notice of the hurt I was inflicting upon them. 

No longer could I say that I wasn't hurting anyone.  I was hurting myself.  

I was hurting others and I didn't want to continue in the cycle of pain.  

Sick and tired of being sick and tired, desperate for a new way of life...

Peace, love and light
Cheri

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I love this topic.  Today, for this addict, making a commitment and
keeping it--no matter what, is one of the most important things to
me.  Today my word means something.  In another time and space, you
could be sure of one thing, and one thing only-- If I told you I
would be at home using-- then I would be at home using and if I told
you anything else-- rest assured, I'd be at home using.  Today, I am
quite different.  I am dependable.  That's new again for me, and it
feels great.  I feel a sense of purpose and I give selflessly to
others as just as others did ( and still is do) for me, because after
all, that's what it is all about, and I can't keep what I have unless
I give it away!!
Ann

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"I know that I am at my bottom but.....
How do I stop using and being used?"

I have been coming to the rooms since December 2001. Although I
relapsed a little while ago the affect of being in the rooms has been
life altering and spiritually profound for me. My relapse represented
for me a deep & true acceptance of my addict nature (I thought I
could drink successfully; after 72 hours I was completely
unmanageable and confirmed I belonged in the rooms). Since my relapse
I have been able to truly accept recovery into my life and begin to
use the tools that the program offers rather than just go through the
motions. I hit bottom back in December and I just did what the
program said to do. This worked for a while and things changed in me.
I did not notice them but being surrounded by recovering addicts, and
by being loved & accepted things began to change inside (little by
slowly). Changes began to come into my awareness when things that
used to be okay for me no longer were acceptable. Although these
transitions are painful they also bring joy because I can celebrate
that I am growing. What a sense of accomplishment.

How did I stop using and being used? Well that is just a miracle.
Miracles are hard to explain, there illogical. I did not consciously
know how to do either thing. My HP definitely has carried me this far
& brought the most amazing ppl into my life to assist me in this
process. Just having the intention and the profound willingness to
stop using. With that I was able to take suggestions and believe in
someone in NA who believed in me. Then next thing you know I am
believing in myself. Then I wake up one day and realize that I am no
longer praying into a black abyss and I am actually having an
intimate relationship with my HP. Talking to it and letting it guide
me.

It is slow and sometimes the changes that are happening seem
undetectable. I guess each of us has our own time. Different things
need to happen to bring us to this point where we can accept the
possibility of a better way to live. It does not happen overnight
(that's for sure) and there are days when I wondered why I was doing
this at all but IT GETS SO MUCH BETTER. Just sticking it out that day
even though it sucks, helps to build me up. It gives me that sense of
accomplishment & the little inkling more of self esteem that I need
to keep me going through another day.

I hope this made sense. Thanks for letting me share.

LOVE- Alex

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When I worked step three I was introduced to a spiritual principal that I had already practiced to some extent since I was clean. Shortly after I came to the rooms; I made a commitment to recovery. I reflected this commitment by showing up to meetings everyday, regardless of how I felt. I made a commitment to my home group; that regardless of what was happening that I would be there, every meeting. I made a commitment to my sponsor; to call him religiously everyday. These were the first times that I was able to participate in my own life in a long time. It was the first things that I made a commitment to, and actually followed up with. It felt good for people to know that I was going to be there to make coffee, to know that my phone call was coming, etc. I felt good to have a group of people that believed in me, and it helped me to believe in myself. Then I began to make commitments to service; H & I, area service, host committees, etc. These things not only gave me the chance to give back what was so freely given, but it also put me in the middle of the program, and got me hooked up with an excellent network of people. As I began to develop a relationship with a loving God; I began to figure out exactly what it was that I believe in. There came a time when I could no longer just acknowledge that I had a God, no longer just ask him to keep me clean, but develop a relationship with him. In the third step I made the commitment to strive to serve my God, and incorporate his will into my life, on a daily basis. Today I have many commitments; job, H&I, convention, sponsor, sponsee, son, sister, school, etc, and I am able to continue to learn from every single one of them, because I am willing to commit to my relationship with them. I have found that slowly over a period of time; through making enough coffee, showing up to meetings, etc, I have been able to live life at the human status that I sought for so long, but to actually be a responsible productive member of society. I hope that this sight stays around, despite that recent struggle with support; it has become a daily asset for my recovery. 
lov to all - Aaron
-----

How do I know I hit Bottom? I can 'feel' it in the very soul of my being! Drugs in any form are not acceptable today. I 'know' this in my head. It was ONLY when I truly accepted it in my heart that I started to recover. There is a little part Waayy down inside that knows today; "I am an Addict". I have not used drugs or Alcohol in over 15 years. BUT, I have hit other bottoms. Money. Sex. Food. Emotions! Oh, yes those emotions that works so well to keep people away from me and allow me to act out in unhealthy ways. I love the rush of ==>Fear<== and the chemicals that get released into my brain. Anger; grrrrrrr - feel the rushhhh of the blood pumping madness in your veins? Rage. Pity /\O/\ oh pity me.... I am an addict. Yes, I have hit many 'Bottoms' only after I was willing to look at them and take responsibility for them and my behaviors. How did this happen? Step 1, 2, and 3. Then taking the actions in steps 4 & 5. (God, what a rush that was) following it up with more action steps 6 & 7 and then the dreaded steps 8 & 9. Followed daily with steps 10, 11, & 12 then going back around to step 1 everyday. How do I know I hit Bottom? Because God told me, I believe it, and I 'know' it.  Travel the Journey in Faith and Trust the Process.  

Willy - the recovering addict from West-Central Missouri, USA

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The Word of God says, “Let the redeemed of the Lord say so.”  And 

that Satan was overcome by the blood of the Lamb and by the word 

of their testimony.  That’s why I’m here today.  I don’t want this to be 

about me.  I want the words of my testimony to glorify God and Jesus, 

His son, who sacrificed his own life to save mine.

Because of depression, most of my life I have found one way or another 

to escape.  I would take long naps, or pour myself into work, or find 

other ways to get away.  Instead of dealing with whatever it was that I 

wanted to escape from, I just ran away.  A couple of years ago, I was 

really struggling with migraine headaches.  The traditional migraine 

medications either didn’t work, or I couldn’t take them for one reason 

or another.  Pretty soon, my doctors just started throwing narcotic pain 

medication at the problem – and I soon discovered something I thought 

was wonderful.  I could escape not only the physical pain, but also the 

emotional pain.  Basically, I felt like I was taking a nap while I was 

awake.

I justified my use because:

1.   They were prescribed by a doctor and legal.

2.   I was too smart and knew too much about drug addiction for it 

     to happen to me.  I wasn’t a drug addict.  I just took a lot of pain 

     pills.

3.  Because my depression could become so debilitating, they 

     helped me function like the super-woman I believed I had to be.

     Perfect mother, wife, friend, etc.

All those tedious house-wife chores, became easy to do

over-and-over-and-over again without a thought of how bored I was. 

Pretty soon it became apparent that I had a problem with pain-killers.  

I was addicted.  I had turned away from God and turned to pills instead. 

Satan had me right where he wanted me – useless for the kingdom of 

God.  But I was not about to admit my problem.  Then everyone would 

see me as weak, and not the super-woman I wanted to appear to be.

Pretty soon, it all caught up to me, and everything I was trying to hide 

was revealed.  Basically I got caught.   It took several times at treatment 

and people confronting me before I realized I was beat and had to 

surrender.  God humbled me and had me on my knees, crying out for 

His mercy, grace and HELP!

Today, I stand before you, and I have been clean for almost 120 days, 

knowing that God is doing for me what I never could have done for 

myself.  I have been to hell and back and have no plans to go back!  

I have been through the secular drug treatment and psychiatrists, 

psychologists, therapists, etc. but they were not the answer.  

JESUS keeps me clean and sober.  He is the answer.

I have been learning to live life on life’s terms, one day at a time and 

working through some of the emotional problems I have.  I am finding 

a new serenity and peace I never thought was possible – way beyond 

what I could have ever found with any drug.  

My prayer today, is for those listening today, who may have doubts 

about the power of Jesus to heal, deliver, save or redeem that you 

would hear from the words of my testimony that my God - my Jesus 

IS REAL!

God Bless,

Amy H.  

__________

Who is an Alcoholic?

Am I an Alcoholic?

To get the right answer the prospective member must start this course of instruction with-

1. A willingness to learn. We must not have the attitude that “you’ve

got to show me.”

2. An open mind. Forget any and all ideas or notions we already have.

Set our opinions aside.